Conflict on Your Team? How One Team Lead Made Peace.

Danny was a team lead in IT for a large energy company. The company was integrating some new technologies with its legacy system. Which is challenging enough.

Throw in two strong personalities - one on team legacy. One leading the new tech implementation.

It made a tough situation so much worse.

Much, much worse.

These two were constantly at each other’s throats.

Danny’s best efforts had had no impact. At all.

Larry was in charge of the legacy system. Justin - the new technology.

Larry was older. Justin was younger. Which also seemed to make things worse.

Danny had tried his best to figure this out. But with no success.

And so he’d come to the workshop for something, anything that would help end World War III.

Conflict is Tough

Danny had tried everything. Nothing worked with these two.

He’d asked his boss for advice. Not much help there. Asked friends and colleagues. Nothing that made a dent.

Solving a personal conflict between two team members is one of the toughest things a manager will face.

If you’re stuck, take a look at the situation again. Come at it from a different angle. Ask different questions. Especially with personality conflicts.

We tend to see conflict as a personality clash. But conflict is often the symptom. Not the problem. Without understanding the root cause, it can be very difficult to resolve.

To figure out what was going on with Danny’s team, we needed to look at the situation. Dig a little deeper. Maybe the reason he couldn’t resolve the conflict was because it was a symptom. Not the problem.

A Second Look

To break down the situation and understand it more clearly we looked at 3 things. The work. Justin. And Larry.

We started with a brief check on the project. Very brief. I’m a technopeasant, so I focus on the people side of things. The tech, I leave to the experts.

However one of the most frequent causes of conflict is the way work/responsibilities are set up. Systems integrations can be very complex. Sometimes projects end up with two people who have competing goals/responsibilities. A structural problem causing conflict. Align the responsibilities. Simple fix.

In this case, that wasn’t an issue. But it’s always the first thing I check.

Justin

Next, I asked Danny about Justin. I wanted to understand a little more about him.

Turns out, except for his conflict with Larry, Justin was a great part of Danny’s team. He was smart, learned fast, worked well with everyone except Larry. Did a great job. And was especially committed to the new system integration project.

It may seem odd, but less than two minutes in, Danny realized Justin wasn’t the problem.

Justin was doing a good job. He was trying to sort out problems with Larry. He was respectful, but not a doormat. But sometimes his frustration took over. And the two would get into it. Things would get loud.

Danny was confident that Justin would be open to trying to resolve his conflicts with Larry. He just needed to know what to do.

Larry

Larry’s turn.

As Danny talked about Larry, it was clear he was a good guy too. Worked hard, knew his stuff, got along with the team. And took pride in his work.

So why were two good guys creating so much trouble?

Time for more questions.

This was turning into a coaching conversation.

Although Larry was an asset on the team, it seemed he was less open to discussing the problems with Justin. He was sure he was right. Danny thought his response was defensive. Literally. Like he was defending his turf. His technology - the legacy system.

As the conversation continued, Danny realized the conflict came from Larry’s resistance to the new technology. Resistance to the systems integration.

Why would that be?

Wasn’t that Larry’s job? To facilitate the integration? Ensure it went as smoothly as possible?

It was.

Now the problem seemed obvious to Danny. Larry thought he was doing his job. He thought it was his responsibility to defend the legacy system. And he was relentless in ensuring he did just that. Regardless of the conflict and battles with Justin.

This was just a misunderstanding.

The Solution

Once Danny was clear about the problem, the solution was a no-brainer for him.

Larry’s job was to speed up the integration. Make sure it went as seamlessly as possible.

Instead, he was slowing it down.

Danny was confident he could clear things up with a brief performance discussion. And a little follow up to make sure the changes were understood and implemented. What a relief.

If you’re not managing a team, it may be hard to understand why Danny couldn’t see the problem. His days were full. Hectic. The demands relentless.

There was no opportunity to reflect on the problem. And no support from his manager to help him sort through the mess. It’s easy to be distracted by all the noise. It happens all the time.

Taking time to reflect. Shutting out all distractions. Asking questions that get your brain thinking about the problem in a new way. There’s a reason coaching is so popular. It’s a great strategy for problem-solving when you’re stuck.

Wrapping up

Managing people is tough. Managing conflict between two strong personalities is one of the biggest challenges you can face when leading a team.

If you’re stuck, look at the problem again. From a different angle. Dig a little. Find the root cause.

In this case, the battle royale between two strong personalities wasn’t the problem. As we drilled down, it was a simple misunderstanding. A lack of clarity.

Which was a relief for Danny. Once he understood the problem, the solution was obvious.. He couldn’t wait to get back to the office to sort things out.